THE DISCOVERY OF PARTY BINGO

By SBM Staff

February 8, 2013

One thing we’ve learned in our college years is that the verb use of the word ‘party’ is more ambiguous than literal. Some people spend their Friday nights going from bar to bar with friends - ‘partying’. Other people hang around their dorms and apartments playing beer pong – ‘partying’. And some people just drink Bud Light on Wednesday mornings – ‘partying’.

However, some nights of 'partying' are laced with high expectations. Expectations that rise so high they’re sometimes hard to meet. Nights like Halloween, New Year’s Eve, St. Patrick’s Day, or the first weekend of the semester.

We thought the first Friday after Winter Break might be an exciting night, so we concluded that it was our duty as journalists to try our darndest to attend parties at all five of the colleges.

 

Here's what we found –

First Stop: Amherst College Dorm Party

While lost on their campus, we asked a few guys if they were going to any parties that night. Their response was fittingly, “Psh, no. I’ve got a track meet tomorrow morning.”

Second Stop: UMass House Party

This party was actually way-the-hell out in Belchertown, but that didn’t affect the turn-out. Surprise, there was also beer pong.

Third Stop: Smith College Apartment Party

Exclusively ladies, no beer pong, pretty wild for the lack of people there.

Fourth Stop: Hampshire College Mod Party

Tame, lame, and even more beer pong.

Skipped Stop: Mt. Holyoke College Party

We’d already been to four boring parties, we had to cut our losses at that point. Sorry, MOHOs – we’re contemplating being a magazine for the Four Colleges.

***

So we learned the same lesson we learn every Halloween: party expectations are almost never met. Everybody’s just doing the same old shit they do every other Friday night and Wednesday morning. However, we found a wonderful silver lining.

One of our esteemed reporters had the brilliant idea to build a set of bingo cards before we left the house. We sat around and threw out funny party-specific observations and expectations for the night. Using some kind of web-magic, she quickly produced ten different ‘party bingo’ cards.

It was clear the idea was brilliant when everyone in our group cheered as Beyonce’s ‘Countdown’ started playing over the speakers at the Amherst dorm party. Everyone watched as all of us, dispersed throughout the room, excitedly stuck colored dots onto the box that read ‘Beyonce Song’.

So however you plan on celebrating your snowy weekend, think about printing out these bingo cards and evolving your idea of ‘partying’.

Here are 10 different variations of our card, just for you: (or download and print

THINK ABOUT TAKING PICTURES OF YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS PLAYING - THEN TWEET OR INSTAGRAM THEM WITH THE HASHTAG: #SWITCHBOARDBINGO